IMPORTANT
Heheh.
- SB
HELLO INTERNET GUY
HELLO LITTLE FOOD EATING HUMAN. I WAS ASKED TO NOT SPEAK TO YOU, BUT IN THE FUTURE EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT ME ANYWAY SO SCREW IT. I AM LURX. I AM INSIDE YOUR MOM. HAHAH. I'M SO 4TH DIMENSIONALLY INTELLECTUAL. I HAVE TO HIT CAPS LOCK? NO, I DON'T WANT PUNY LOWER CASE LETTERS. THEY FAIL TO REPLICATE MY POWERFUL GOD EMOTIONS.
- LURX (Using StarchBeast's body)
A BRIEF CONVERSATION
Oh, I remember those silly things you asked me when we first met.
"Alright. So, tell me, what are you? Some kind of creature? Preacher? God, even?" you questioned.
"Heheh, no, no," I said. "You flatter me, kid, but I am simply what you make of me."
You chuckled to yourself.
"Okay! Then you'll be my newest friend!" you said.
You just make me smile sometimes, it's weird.
- SB
THE BIOPLANET
Alright, you should know about this. The Bioplanet, while rather self-explanatory, is in fact a large biological plant that functions as a planet. This is where I currently reside. It has its own atmosphere and everything. On this super-earth sized organism, I have free reign to test out any and all biological designs, acting as my infinite playground. How'd it get there? Sorry, we're uh, breaking up... or something. Bye.
- SB
THE INFLUENCING MACHINE
I know it now. She was right the whole time. The Machine. It’s located on a body, far away, but close enough to carry the signal. It tells her how to think. And she tells me what to do. I am a deaf man being led by a blind woman. And yet, I found no purpose greater. I work because the machine demands it. And nothing else.
- MB
AS THE YEARS GO BY
Well, it's that time again. You're making your way into the new year! Look at how far you've come after all this time. Whether or not you feel like you've changed, you have, trust me. All good moms know how their kids have grown. And, even though I can't spend the holiday with you this year, I will be able to very soon. I just can't wait for us to meet again.
- SB
MY DAUGHTER
So, I know I have a lot of kids, I am your mother after all, but this one is a little different. My daughter, Sasha, isn't exactly... mine, but I'm her caretaker and that's all that matters, okay? Remember what I always told you, "If I have created a form of life using your body parts, I at least get partial custody."
- SB
ME BEING YOUR MOM
Oh, yeah. By the way, I'm your mom, kid. In fact, I'm everyone's mom, as everyone has at least two moms: their biological mother and the Beast of Starch. That beast would be me, and I'm very proud of you.
- SB
FIRST CONTACT
Hello? Hello?! Can anyone hear me? It's me! The StarchBeast! And I'm here to deliver a special message, just for you. I FINALLY DID IT. This took a significantly longer amount of time than expected, but I'd like to see you go back in time to make a website. Yeah, you can't. Because I theoretically didn't either. Due to the laws of time and yada yada, this website technically already existed before I'm technically making it. Though, as you can tell, this is all very confusing and theoretically. I stressed that point way too much, but that's besides the point. Uh, stay tuned or something. Might take a while, but I promise I’ll never truly stop working on it. Alright, goodbye kid.
- SB
